


The Reason Why

by RogueRevenant



Series: Rebelcaptain One Shots [7]
Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebellion Era - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Comfort, F/M, Hurt, Injury
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-12
Updated: 2017-04-12
Packaged: 2018-10-17 22:38:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10603719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RogueRevenant/pseuds/RogueRevenant
Summary: Jyn had lost count of how many times Cassian had thrown himself in harm’s way for her. She also lost count of the amount of times she told him to stop such acts...





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is my submission for the comfort thingy for day 2 of rebelcaptain appreciation week. I honestly really can't tell if this is cheesy or corny but I just wanted to get this done tonight for a contribution to rebelcaptain week, and I haven't finished my other story but I've got all week next week to get shite done for once and I'll have more work put out. 
> 
> Appreciate ya :)

Everyone else told Jyn to let Cassian rest. They said he would be fine, that he would wake up in a few hours or so. The soft, steady beeping that emitted from the monitor beside his bed assured her the same. Even Kaytoo said he had a 99.99% chance of making a full recovery as he milled around, trying to pry Jyn away from his bedside. She refused to move, refused to even go outside to get food or water for herself, instead choosing to sit in a chair for as long as it would take for Cassian to finally open his eyes and say something to her.

“Jyn,” Bodhi said, hanging in the doorway with one arm rested against it. “He’s gonna be alright.”

“I know,” she said, keeping her head locked in the direction of Cassian’s shut eyelids.

“You need to eat, or at least get something to drink.”  
“I’m fine.”

“The doctors said he’s gonna be out for almost a whole day. Are you sure you don't need anything.”

Jyn didn’t say anything more. She just tightened her jaw, ready to snap at him even though he didn’t deserve it. She knew Bodhi cared, but at the same time the tension of just sitting by Cassian’s unconscious body for what she believed was her own fault began to escalate higher and higher by the moment, and she just didn’t feel like talking to anybody unless it was Cassian at the moment.  
Jyn listened closely, trying to see if Bodhi would leave, when she heard the door shut gently. She quickly turned her head, examining the room thoroughly to make sure she was all alone, then returned her eyes back to Cassian and sighed heavily, as if she had been holding her breath since the rescue team arrived for them. The room was dark and silent with the exception of the heart-rate monitor’s beep. 

“You… you idiot,” she said silently. “You selfless, crazy idiot.”

Jyn had lost count of how many times Cassian had thrown himself in harm’s way for her. She also lost count of the amount of times she told him to stop such acts, and also how many times she’d scolded him after. Now that he was laying down in the medbay for the the first time since their evacuation from Scarif, the sight of seeing him battered, bruised and bloodied seared into her heart and twisted her throat into a knot. Although she recognized Cassian’s foolish unselfishness, deep down in her gut she knew it was none other than her fault. 

“I should be the one in that bed, not you,” Jyn’s voice quivered lightly. “But what do you go out and do? You go out of your way for the thousandth kriffing time just to save me.”

Tears began to well up in the corner of her eyes. She tried to force them back in and pull herself together, but it was no use. The streams quickly made their marks on her cheeks and she furiously wiped away at them with her tattered scarf. Jyn was glad that Cassian was asleep so that he wouldn't see her like that.

“Why? Why? Don’t you understand why I don't want you to hurt yourself like this for me?”

She didn’t expect him to answer, but a part of her wished that he would wake up all of a sudden and just tell her why, or at least pull her into his arms and hold her. More tears began to slip from her eyes, and it became harder and harder for her to look at Cassian without feeling immense emotional and physical pain.

“Where else am I gonna go if I lose you?” she covered her face and sobbed into her hands. 

Jyn was startled all of a sudden when she felt a hand on her shoulder. It was most likely Bodhi, he probably slipped back into the room while she was crying, but she still wanted to be alone. She pulled the hand off of her shoulder, wiped her eyes, and looked behind her, only to notice that the hand wasn't stretched from behind her but it was from in front go her. It was Cassian’s hand that was resting on her shoulder. He was looking at her with pained eyes, which was most likely due to the battering he took earlier and because he was exerting himself by leaning over to touch Jyn’s shoulder, and probably because of the fact that he heard everything that Jyn had said.

“Jyn…” Cassian whispered in a soft and raspy voice.

She wanted to leap out of her seat and into his arms, but had to physically restrain herself. Cassian was already too badly hurt.

However, just as Jyn lifted her arm up again to wipe her wet eyes, Cassian pulled her out of her seat and hugged her into him. She heard him groan in pain and wanted to pull away for his sake, but his arms were already wrapped around her and her head was on his chest. 

She sniffled. “Cassian, I—”

“No, Jyn. Don’t say anything. It’s okay, I understand.”

“No, you don't understand.” She pulled away but stayed on the bed close to his face. “I love you, that’s why I keep telling you to stop being an idiot and to stop trying to kill yourself out there for me.”

“You… you love me?”  
“Yes, you idiot! I love you! Why else do you think I would have scolded you all of those times before when you risked your life?”

“Jyn… I…”  
“You are the last person I have in the galaxy. Everyone else was already taken from me, and I can't lose you.”

Out of nowhere, Cassian pulled her in and pushed his lips hard against hers. The kiss was sloppy, messy, and slow, but it lasted for nearly five minutes before each broke away and stared into each others eyes. 

“You don't have to be afraid, Jyn. You aren't going to lose me any time soon.”

Jyn wanted to say more but the lump in her throat, so she instead leaned her head on the pillow beside him and smiled as he wrapped his arms around her, both falling asleep in the others embrace.


End file.
